Dear Coach

 As a player for the Crusaders in the mid to late 1980's I had a reputation for being a lucky (but prolific bowler) as well as a butter-fingered fielder, with a feeble arm.
I would like to ask Coach Timms, who turned out for the club at the same time, whether a poorer fielder or luckier bowler has represented the club since then?

                   BT Boy from Peterborough

Dear Coach

                    I was recently called for 'throwing' in a 20/20 match and am now awaiting an ECB adjudication into the legality of my action. Can you help?

                   Irritating Little Man from East London

 

Dear Coach

                   I have an array of shots that are played with immaculate style, but the ball rarely gets off the square. I have a lot of time on my hands at the moment and know I would benefit from your experience.

                   Mr Taylor from Charlton

Dear Mr Taylor

 

Having seen you bat on a couple of occasions and apart from a fantastic opening stand at Linden Park a couple of years ago when you creamed it to all parts of the square, albeit with the guidance of advice and sheer quality of your opening partner, you are beyond help.

In fact may I suggest you try batting left handed?

Please don't seek my help ever again.

Yours

Coach

 

Dear Coach

                  I can't catch for toffees. I am writing on behalf of my fellow Singhs. Please help us.

                   Johnny Walker and all players with Singh in their name

 To all the Singhs & JW

Tricky one this as it's a very basic part of the game, but providing it's off Moysie's bowling, not so bad after all.

May I suggest, attaching a piece of string to a tennis ball, once secure then tie it around your body. This will enable you to practice catching at the bus stop, whilst waiting for your lift and not having to involve a  stranger in a game of catch. However, beware as you could be mistaken for a Care in the Community weekender. After 3 weeks you'll be snapping them up in the slips.

Failing that, you could take up wicket keeping and follow a long line of catch adverse colleagues who enjoy a chat.

Yours

Coach

Dear Coach

                  Do you think I am vain?

                    Billy 'the lip' from New Eltham

 

 To Billy 'The Lip' Webb.

In response to your question posed, I would like to reply by saying that I do not think you are vain any more. There was a phase back in the 90's when you were known as 'shit loads' with a hint of vanity. However, I believe you now to be the rudest man EVER to play for the club and suggest that you walk into bat next year to the tune of 'Charmless Man' by Blur, exiting after a first ball duck to 'run rabbit run'.

See you next year.  

Dear Coach

                     I think I may have acquired 'Burr Syndrome'. In Sunday's game at Old Wilsonians I delivered a rank full toss that was despatched over the pavilion. Instead of adjusting my line and length for the next delivery, I followed up with another non-bouncer and lo and behold the same result. Fortunately I managed to pull myself together and resisted the urge to send down a third. I am concerned that this ailment will affect my future performance. Please help.

                      Anxious from Bromley