On a blustery afternoon in the Thames Estuary, Crusaders set a formidable target of 259 from their alotted 40 overs, thanks largely to a solid 63 from skipper Wajih and a more flambuoyant innings of 88 from Chand.
Expectations of another explosive innings from our 'Vodaphone' sponsored preacher, ended in disappointment, with only a slash over the slips to amuse the crowd.
Most of the top order got themselves in but unfortunately failed to build on their starts. Wajih was the exception, compiling runs steadily, with few alarms.
He was well supported by Chand, who played a more expansive innings, driving powerfully through the cover and point area.
Poor communication accounted for both Wajih and Damon, with Chand the significant other in both run outs - at least Damon got reasonably close to getting in - more than can be said for QE2 Rehman.
A good tea was consumed - it should be for £40 according to the treasurer and then we set about defending the target.
It was never going to be easy and Minster set off with great purpose.
Runs flowed, with the short boundary peppered with fours and sixes. Mike stuck to the task and despite a savaging, continued to put the ball in the right areas. He was rewarded with the first four wickets to fall, but rather than slow down Minster's run chase it actually urged them on. Pommie got in on the act and all of a sudden Minster were wobbling at 78-6 - or so we thought.
The experienced old heads of Tucker and O' Donoghue steadied the ship and accumulated runs at the required rate, without appearing to take any risks. Having done so much to get their side back in the game, they will probably be disappointed at not seeing the game to a winning conclusion. A smart stumping from Sumo broke the partnership and then a fabulous run out by Slapdash ended O' Donoghue's innings two short of a century.
Minster continued to play their shots, but the tail was mopped up with a wicket apiece for Pommie and Skinny, as the innings closed at 232. Mike finished with 5-55, which considering he bowled from trickiest end was a fine effort.
12th September -v- Old Victorians
A strong midweek eleven made light work of Old Vics, who fielded an 82 year old amongst their number - the nearest we could offer was Timmo.
Having racked up 270 last year Old Vics had no hesitation batting first again, but found the bowling and fielding a little more competitive this time.
Chand's cousin Dheraj made his debut, slicing through the top order with some lively medium pace bowling. Chand would benefit from spending more time with Dheraj, hopefully learning the merits of being a polite, well mannered member of society.
Timmo gave good support from the other end - good for an 82 year old lookalike anyway. Spud kept an end tight, helping himself to four wickets and we gradually whittled our way through their batting. Good fielding ensured Old Vics were never going to get near last year's total, with Wajih determined that we would bowl our opposition out and have enough time to chase down the target. Old Victorians were finally dismissed for 178 from 45 overs. Dheraj finished with a fine four wicket haul on debut.
Solid knocks from Nita, Bill and Chand were overshadowed by a masterful innings from the skip. A fairly sedate Old Vics bowling attack, backed by some leisurely fielding enabled Wajih to pick his shots at will, as he became more confident as his innings progressed. Anand was happy to rotate the strike, allowing Wajih to progress to within 4 of a maiden ton for the club, when the target was achieved.
09th September -v- Leigh
02nd September -v- Dartfordians
26th August -v- Horsmonden
Against Spud's better judgement Crusaders pursued a late emergency fixture in the quaint village of Horsmonden. Bank Holiday availability has always made fielding an eleven difficult, but we had an encouraging response and a perceived ten available. When it came to the crunch, ten became nine, nine became eight and finally eight became seven. Too late to disappoint our hosts we travelled. Horsmonden accepted our apologies for lateness and numbers and were happy to supply a couple of guests to supplement our numbers to nine.
It soon became apparent that even with seven players we would have presented a competitive opposition. We were offered first knock and after the early demise of Vodafone (3), Chand and The Young Yuvraj took the bowlers to task.
Our loanee Kerry replaced Chand and took great delight in making runs against his own team. But it was Nita that was the mainstay of the innings, driving strongly and riding some considerable fortune as he posted a career best 90. He was deprived of a maiden ton by 'Jealous Gord' who couldn't bear to see his club best 95 overhauled and callously ran him out. Gord then played some of his best cricket, steering us to a declaration at 214 for 4.
Tea was a majestic effort. Crusaders' that have been at the club for over twenty years will happily reminisce about the Chocolate Cake produced by Brenda of the Westcombe Parkers. A lady of Horsmonden produced a Fresh Cream Sponge that was it's equal.
Horsmonden perhaps suffered some 'cakelag' as they made a rather stodgy attempt at getting the runs. Chand and Pommie whittled through the top order, reducing our hosts to 20-5. Some recreational bowling allowed Horsmonden to steady the ship and Crusaders did not push desperately hard for the win. Eventually stumps were pulled with Horsmonden 91-8 and honours even.
12th August -v- Lenham
Crusaders piled on the runs at Lenham, amassing 234 from only 36 overs, but Lenham made no effort to chase, with the game drifting to a tame draw.
Chand and Slapdash (36) savaged the opening bowlers in a partnership of 79 from just ten overs. Sumo (47) continued the onslaught adding a further 91 with Chand, who was finally out for a fine 82.
Lenham were intent purely on survival and despite good bowling we lacked the penetration to force victory.
05th August -v- Catford Wanderers
Crusaders fell agonisingly short of their target of 200, as Catford exacted some revenge for recent defeats. Wajih used up most of his cat's lives making 74 and despite a valiant late assault from Jabs (29) we were bowled out for 195.
Catford were indebted to their two young openers for a solid start, but the bowlers stuck to the task and were well supported in the field.
A stand of 71 between Wajih and Anand laid a solid foundation, but we lost our way in mid innings losing cheap wickets to poor shot selection. The game appeared to have drifted completely beyond our capabilities before a destructive over from Jabs put us back in the frame. Unfortunately Jabs perished to a good catch on the square leg boundary, that could easily have gone for a six and with it went our best chance. Mike and Spud took the game into the final over, before Mike sashayed elegantly down the track playing a super looking drive through extra-cover. The only missing ingredient was contact with the ball.
In contrast to recent meetings this was a fairly tame affair. There was no Steel Band, no Reggae Disco, no Car Theft, no Ransacked Changing Rooms, No allegations of 5 ball overs - Come on Catford we expect better than that. If this continues Simon might play again.
29th July -v- Blue Bell Hill
Ten-man Crusaders rode their luck with the bat, then performed well with the ball and in the field to win comfortably. Heavy overnight rain had left the pitch and outfield sodden and made the winning of the toss vital. Wajih duly lost and we were inserted.
Blue Bell Hill had selected one of the nearest pitches to the houses, which presented a lop-sided feel to the ground, with the bottom of the hill boundary some ninety yards away and the top boundary only forty-five or so.
Slap and Wooden Spoon opened, with Jagdesh making his intentions clear by sending the third ball of the day straight down the ground for six. Ralph was soon out, playing over a straight one, leaving Nita and Jagdesh to trade big shots, with Slap adding another two maximums, before falling lbw to a slower ball for an (as ever) entertaining 30. Nita perished - lofting to mid-on- for 21, which brought Wajih and Gord together, for what would be the biggest partnership of the day.
It was soon apparent that Wajih had stepped in some lucky dog-shit, surviving from at least three dropped catches and that Gord seemed more comfortable batting down the order. In between getting dropped Waj was actually playing some good shots and Gord too was profitting from some typically wristy Caribbean flicks and slashes. The tail wagged, guided by an unbeaten 22 from Spud and with The Crab's one ball faced going for two our innings closed on 185-8 from 40 overs.
Blue Bell Hill needed a good start, but were pegged back by fine spells from Goulash and Matt Rehman. It took an excellent catch from Nita on the mid-wicket boundary to make the breakthrough. You read it right the first time - it was an excellent catch from Nita.
Matt got in on the act, making good use of the slope to claim two wickets in quick succession, both clean bowled. This left BBH teetering at 20-3.
Blue Bell Hill staged something of a recovery, with Paddon and Highstead pushing the ball about and punishing anything loose. Nita replaced Matt and had problems finding his range. Simon finished his eight over spell with economic figures of 1-19 - this was largely due to him not bowling that ridiculous ball out of the back of his hand. Spud continued to keep an end tight and finally broke the partnership through a sharp return catch. Nita managed to get his line and length right, sending five overs down for 25. Manjit took over and experienced the same problems (is it really that difficult to bowl straight ? - perhaps someone can send a question to Danglers), but after spraying the ball about he produced his 'golden arm' delivery to claim a wicket. With only ten in the field it was imperative that our out-cricket was good. Nita had set the standard and it was maintained. Jagdesh performed a smart run out, which effectively sealed victory and we were guilty of no drops nor too many mishaps in the field.
Wajih had obviously rolled, not just stepped, in the lucky excrement as the first ball of his spell; a wide full-toss was slapped straight to Spud at cover. Matters went from bad to worse when the next batsman dragged his back-foot and was smartly stumped by The Crab. The field closed in, sensing the hat-trick and few were surprised as the ball scuttled harmlessly down the leg-side. Matt returned to finish the job, with Wajih showing good sibling concern, taking the catch while his brother was grasping his calf in agony. Matt finished with a fine return of 3-16 and Blue Bell Hill were dismissed for 'Nelson'.
24th July -v- Hillingdon Manor
Crusaders took a strong Midweek XI to Hillingdon Manor's Cricket Week and comfortably saw off a youthful opposition.
Hillingdon won the toss and opted to bat on a damp, green wicket. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it was soon apparent that it would not be a batsman's paradise, as Skinny and Danglers got extravagant bounce and sideways movement. Slightly was particularly potent, taking the first two wickets in an aggressive five overs of successive maidens. A tweaky hamstring caused him to leave the field and spend the rest of the game making lewd and suggestive remarks to 'Mrs Taylor'.
Timmo and Spud then took two more wickets apiece and the scorecard started to look like something from mid eighties Crusader history.
In an effort to throw Hillingdon a lifeline, Wajih brought himself on. Runs came but wickets continued to fall. Debutant Anand Kumar, bowling some of the livliest spin bowling I have ever seen, picked up a brace and it was left to Slap 'the finisher' Singh to wrap up the Hillingdon innings for 94.
With tea not ready, Hillingdon had the opportunity to strike back immediately. Unfortunately they bowled too short and found Jagdesh in sparkling form. His 39 included a massive straight six and a superb pull-shot for four, before he fell with the score on 65. Ralph (22*) and Chand (22*) (always the best of mates) took us to target with few scares.
As the game had finished so early we slotted in a quick ten over thrash and despite posting a solid 94, with Anand and Timmo trading shots, our hosts exacted some revenge winning in the final over. The ECB are currently investigating scoring irregularities.
22nd July -v- Theydon Bois
A blistering 123 from Theydon's Saffer Captain, meant Crusaders were left chasing an improbable 240 for victory. Fielding only ten players from the start and losing the services of Sumo half way through with a suspected broken nose, made victory even less likely.
Moysey removed both openers in a fiery spell and Mike kept it tight at the other end, but the fall of the second wicket brought their two best bats together for a long and fruitful stand. With the exception of Chand, whose bowling was pitiful, everyone bowled reasonably well. Unfortunately we ran into someone who was in very good form, playing a range of shots that made setting a field problematic. Having a capable partner merely added to the problem, as they were able to rotate the strike effectively. Spud finally removed the lesser of the two mortals, with a fine return catch, but by that time his 9 overs had yielded 63 runs. The scoring rate inevitably slowed as we were able to exercise some control. Having 'crawled' through the nineties to reach his century, Bullivant then wreaked havoc, spoiling Danglers figures with a last over assault that cost 22 runs.
It was important that we made a positive response and despite losing Wajih early on, we scored at a reasonable rate. Pommie struck the ball well scoring 36 and although Chand and TC got starts we began to slip behind the asking rate. The 'chase' gradually petered out, until Danglers was last out lbw to a shooter, with Theydon Bois running out victors by 84 runs.
15th July -v- SR & Kenley
The 15th July had been widely acclaimed to be one of the only guaranteed sunny summer days, so at least we would get a game of cricket !! Whatever happened to Michael Fish.
It was our first visit to Kenley's attractive ground situated just off the A22 and we were met by an opposition with a wide age range. Kenley were keen to let us bat and Wajih was equally keen to take up the offer.
Alas the 'weather gods' were not smiling and despite Waj and Danglers (stifled yawn) putting on an unbeaten fifty, the rumbling thunder and flashes of lightning came ever closer. Ever darkening skies made it increasingly difficult for fielders to see the ball and the players timed their exit to perfection, just beating the arrival of a twenty minute hail and rain shower that rendered the pitch unplayable. For the record Wajih was 28* and Darren 13*.
12th July -v- Belhus at North Stifford
Crusaders paid their second visit of the season to North Stifford and returned victorious against a youthful Belhus side. Debutants Gary Magnus and Craig Dixon - both loaned from Shooters Hill Dads 'n' Lads - enjoyed a good day, with Gary hitting a fluent 39 and Craig polishing off the tail with three dismissals.
Belhus generously offered us first knock as we awaited the arrivals of Sumo and Ralph and Slapdash and Danglers cemented a solid base to the innings. Jagdesh was in particularly good nick, bludgeoning to all parts, including an exquisitely timed six over mid-wicket. Moysey opted to be 'Preacher's Mate' in the partnership, preferring to stodge up an end while Jagdesh made hay at the other. Despite being 'starved of the strike' Slightly managed to receive 65 balls in making 24 runs. Jagdesh survived a couple of chances, but eventually perished on 47 (37 balls). Gary Magnus took some time to find his form, but he too was soon hitting the boundaries with regularity. Moysie was still there. When Gary departed we were set for a score well in excess of 200, but fell away in the final fifteen overs. Wajih led from the front with an unbeaten 60, but the run rate fell away and we eventually closed on 195-5.
A top draw tea was delivered, including stuffing balls and malt loaf - it doesn't get much better than that.
Belhus started positively against the new (old) ball attack of Timms and Craig Dixon, with Craig having trouble finding the right line. Timmo puffed away valiantly, getting redder and redder and neither batsman looked faintly bothered by the elderly trundler. With the score close to 50, Waj called on Danglers and he repaid the faith with three quick wickets. It has been sometime since opposition batsman have shown fear at Darren's pace, but today was such a day. Spud got in on the act, taking his 600th club wicket in a miserly eight over spell that cost just 7 runs. Confidence drained from the young Belhus side and Craig returned for a much better second spell, picking up three wickets in the process. Gary also helped himself to a wicket and the final nail in the coffin was delivered by 'Man of the Match' Slapdash whose second delivery was safely pouched by Simply. Belhus finally succumbed to defeat in the 37th over, bowled out for 109.
10th July -v- Meantime Brewery at Greenwich Park
Ten man Crusaders were forced to dig deep to preserve a long unbeaten 20/20 record, scraping home by 4 runs in the final over.
Spud rang the changes at the top of the order, preferring Mr. Taylor and 'the illegal' to the tried and tested partnership of Singhs N & J. Almost immediately he regretted the decision, with Mike looking as fluent as a treacle pudding. After Mike had run Chand out (the only worthwhile thing he did with the bat) Simon played with calm assurance for an unbeaten 27. This formed the bedrock to a rather shaky innings, with Slapdash, Dave and Johnny Walker all succumbing cheaply. Late flurries from Gord and Nita ensured our total crept into three figures, with Spud and the returning Goulash scrambling a bizarre three off the final ball to take the score to 106-8.
Mike opened with a maiden and then saw his second over treated with the sort of respect it deserved. After three overs Meantime had raced to 19 and we were staring down the barrel. Chand, who had provided the match ball, suddenly found some expansive turn, taking three wickets in an over and the tide had turned. Spud came into the attack and immediately removed the dangerous opener, caught in TC's jumper and Manjit was the beneficiary of a tremendous catch at long on from Gord. Meantime were still scoring at a rate and were prepared to play their shots, but regular wickets prevented complete freedom of shot. The strange decision to award two runs for a wide/no ball and no extra ball caused some controversy, with Dave bringing some of his unsavoury football behaviour on to the field of play in a dispute over a wide. Mike, with two wickets and Chand, slipped in three tight overs and we had gained the upper hand again, with The Brewery needing 9 off the last Simon Burr over. Still plenty of cricket then!!!
Simon kept his cool and following five runs off the first three balls, he managed to execute a run out off the fourth to finish the game, with Meantime so close and yet so far on 102.
08th July -v- Downham & Bellingham
Once again Crusaders did the 'spade work' with the ball only to let themselves down with the fragility of their batting. Fine bowling from Danglers and The Englishman put Downham on the backfoot and only their depth in batting allowed them to recover to 178-9 at the end of 40 overs. Slightly (1-21) and Pommie (2-21) ensured, with the help of some fine fielding, particularly from Slapdash, that Downham did not get the flying start they sought. Good spells from Spud and Goulash maintained the pressure, with Simon fully deserving his two victims, including the wickets of their best two bats.
Tea was the usual fine array, making this probably Simon's favourite game, with the prospect of packed lunches galore from the leftovers.
It was vital that we got off to a sound start, keeping wickets intact. Unfortunately wickets tumbled too regularly and although we maintained the required rate over the first fifteen overs, pressure was mounting on the remaining batsmen. Downham bowled intelligently to a well placed field, gradually turning the screw and we fell into the trap, attempting big shots rather than knocking the ball about and gathering runs in ones and twos. Pommie completed a good all round display making a fluent 32, while 'Suicide Watch' continued his solid form with the bat, hoisting two sixes in his 20. Resistance crumbled when Darren clipped the ball to mid-wicket, cursing the fact that the bat he was using had a middle. Our innings curtailed at 126, falling 52 runs short.
28th June -v- Ashburnham Arms
Like London Buses - you wait all day for one, then along come two...three. The Singhs are back. First Manjit pouches one on the boundary edge, then Nita springs in to action at short mid-wicket. Then to confound us all Manjit does it again. Forget the rest of the match Manjit and Nita have held catches.
Earlier in the evening Nita (28 ret n.o.) and Slapdash (14) had got us off to a good start, taking 34 from the first 5 overs. Timmo was the victim of a father/son collaborated lbw and new acquisition Saed Abdirizak looked bemused that his stay at the crease was so short. He is I am sure the first Half Somali/Swiss that has graced the colours. Moysey and The Rock stodged up the middle of the innings and only a late flurry from Goulash got us to 119 at the end of 20 overs.
Ashburnham Arms were undone by some fine slow bowling, as well as the camouflage effect of the trees at one end. Spud and Manjit had all but won the game inside the first seven overs, with The Ash reduced to 12-3. Slack and Danglers ensured there was to be no recovery, with GT informing me that Darren's three wickets were the direct result of his wily bowling at the other end. (Lock and Laker apparently !!!). Jagdesh completed proceedings, with his particular brand of spin yielding a catch to point.
17th June -v- Caythorpe (Lincolnshire)
Crusaders completed a fantastic weekend in Lincolnshire with a comfortable 35 run victory against Caythorpe. In a match reduced to thirty overs, Crusaders were indebted to a solid 36 (ret n.o.) from Nita, as he and Slightly laid a solid (to some slightly slow) foundation. Fans of watching paint dry may wish to add watching Darren at the crease to their list of exciting pursuits.
Pommie and Wajih perished trying to accelerate the scoring rate and Chand flattered to deceive with three consecutive boundaries, before holing out. Man of the Tour Grant Reynolds held the innings together, with a sound 19 and Mike gained some revenge for yesterday's lbw decision, by adjudging Gord out stumped to the last ball of our innings. 135 from 30 overs may have appeared a little short, but the pitch was playing slow and with some uneven bounce.
Confuscious says 'Those that criticise from the boundary edge, would do well to wait until they had made a positive contribution before opening their mouths'.
It was important that Caythorpe started positively and equally so that Crusaders bowled and fielded to prevent that happening. Pommie bowled an aggressive opening spell, regularly beating the outside edge. He immediately reaped rewards, with Slightly taking a good running catch at widish mid-on, to dismiss their County Colt. Spud was equally miserly at the other end, bowling 6 overs for just 6 runs. The excellent start set the tone for the rest of the game, with all Crusaders bowlers returning good figures. Grant added another two wickets, to finish top wicket taker with 5 (a wicket for every thousand miles travelled). Caythorpe finished on exactly 100.
16th June -v- Fulbeck (Lincolnshire)
Despite indifferent weather, Crusaders were able to complete their 12-a-side fixture with Fulbeck, (one of only two games in the whole of Lincolnshire that finished) winning a 40 over game by the comfortable margin of 59 runs. Fulbeck won the toss and opted to bowl on a damp, slow pitch.
Gord and Nita opened and Captain White must have wondered what he had let himself in for, with Gord's new 'all-out attack' approach lasting just two balls. The Rock was promoted to number 3 and he steadied the ship, adding 34 with Nita. John was replaced by an equally solid Grant, who had been whisked straight from a flight from Hong Kong . The ex-skip looked like he had hardly been away, glancing regularly at the back of his bat to make sure it was still there and checking that his forward defensive prods did not exceed the regulation three feet in distance.
Nita was next out, for a well crafted 23, allowing the Lincolnshire Samaritans to stand down. The 'Titanic Iceberg' was slipping down nicely in the Hare and Hounds, so I did not witness an expansive innings from Jabs, which accelerated our scoring rate. Basil was his perfect foil, trading solely in singles, before both fell in quick succession, Grant the victim of an amusing run out and Jabs caught in the deep.
Chand and Dave continued to chip away and the lower order 'wagged' the score to 168-9 at the end of 40 overs.
Eileen and Julie provided a splendidly weighty tea, before we set about trying to take the eleven wickets needed for victory.
Pommie managed to extract some bounce from the pitch, taking two wickets in his opening spell, with TC taking a fine catch at 2nd slip followed by an lbw. Mike was tediously accurate at the other end and after ten overs Fulbeck had crawled to 25 for 3. There was to be no respite. Gord produced a zimmer and Grant fought off impending jet-lag to take three wickets.
The result was never in doubt, but credit to Fulbeck and particularly Mr Crosby who made a resolute fifty, for taking the game to the penultimate over. Chand, having upset the B&B owners, the Captain and most of Lincolnshire was finally allowed a bowl, mopping up the tail with three wickets, including a 'ten euro' stumping of Phil's boy.
12th June -v- Netherne 20/20
Lucky lucky old Netherne. Just when the mighty Crusaders were clicking on the overdrive button, the heavens opened to save them from inevitable defeat.
Netherne's picturesque ground within the site of an old redeveloped hospital, had been previously visited by us for a fixture with Franklyn Lewin - another of those days when that 'irksome little man from Pakistan' had upset an opposition- but this was the first meeting between the two sides. Crusaders were bolstered by the debut appearance of Stef Criscuolo (first oily Itie to play for Crusaders), as well as a first appearance of the season from Billy Webb.
It was soon apparent that this was not the 20/20 fare we had become used to playing in Greenwich Park. Netherne were a solid well organised unit, efficient in all aspects of the game. It is to our credit that we competed keenly and on a level footing. Netherne won the toss and had no hesitation in batting. Chand and Jabs bowled well and were supported by good ground work in the field. Spud removed both the openers, but it was clear that they batted with some depth. Simon took a bit of clatter, though I have seen him bowl worse and go for less. Slack put his newly renovated spin action on the back-burner, bowling an excellent three overs at the bottom of the innings, to ensure Netherne did not race away from us in the closing overs. At the end of twenty overs Netherne had set us 132 for victory.
Slapdash and Chand struggled against accurate bowling and enthusiastic fielding, with neither capable of playing the big shots that characterise their games. Danglers nudged and nurdled for 23, Billy wafted lead-footedly and Stef sported some fine 70's retro cricket gear, but we were gradually slipping behind the asking rate. Timmo and TC were at the crease when the rains came, so anything was possible, but with 54 runs required from 25 balls I would say we had 'got out of jail'.
10th June -v- Orpington
Crusaders returned to winning ways at Orpington, racking up 221-5 from 40 overs, before restricting our hosts to just 124. Wajih (89) was in imperious form with the bat and received turgid support from 'tiresome' Mike Taylor, who reached fifty (eventually), as they put on 149 for the 2nd wicket. Nita (23) had given the innings a strong base, sharing a stand of 47 with Mike in the first ten overs.
Orpington responded positively, looking to push quick singles and punish any wayward bowling. Danglers provided plenty of the latter, with Clarkson particularly liking the leg-side dross that was on offer. Simon, who had declared at tea that he could bowl what he liked and it would'nt affect the result, did just that - and he was right. Mike was not out of the action for long, choosing to bore us not only with his batting but also his bowling. Chand broke the opening stand with a well executed run out and although all of the Orpington batsmen looked capable, they began to slip behind the asking rate. Spud whittled out the middle order, taking 4-18 and Manjit chipped in with two wickets. The game began to drift, with the result now a forgone conclusion, but it took just one ball from Slightly to deliver the final nail to Orpington's cofffin.
05th June -v- Meantime Brewery
Our opening midweek game of the season was won with ten balls to spare, following a swashbuckling 26* from Gordy and a solid 24 from Dave. Earlier in the evening Simon had picked up two wickets, two catches and a run out, as well as several outrageous mis-fields and Mr Softy demonstrated that the art of spin-bowling is one that he will never master, despite plenty of talk to the contrary. His two over spell (19 balls we think) was probably the worst the club has seen, since the legendary Limahl 'turned around' for us in the early nineties.
03rd June -v- Old Colfeians
I deliberately left the writing of this report for a whole week, in the hope that the haunting memories would have subsided sufficiently for me to have an objective viewpoint of what happened. Alas the wounds are still as deep. Having grovelled our way to 131 from 40 overs, we fought our way back into the game, through fine bowling from Danglers and Pommie and then dropped every chance that came our way to throw it away.
20th May -v- Belhus
Crusaders paid their first visit to the picturesque village of North Stifford for a forty over fixture against Belhus. Amazingly a full eleven were ready and almost raring to go at the allotted time. Ali Raza having survived last week's extravaganza, made his debut and Jagdesh was extricated from the temple to bring us to our full compliment. Wajih called correctly and opted to see what our new opposition had to offer. Danglers and Skinny were tossed the new ball and not for the first time two batsmen looked supremely confident. Mike was metrognomically accurate, while Moysey relied on Glenn McGrath's 'corridor of uncertainty theory'. Now I have watched that Aussie fellow a few times and I am yet to see him use a corridor three feet down the leg-side - I have obviously got a lot to learn. Anyway, after Darren had seen about twenty dropped/evaded chances he bowled a straight one....fairly simple methinks. Mike was replaced by Ali, who bears a remarkable resemblance to Inzaman - obviously a far slimmer version. He continued in a similar vein, taking two wickets by keeping it full and nipping the ball in to the right-handers. Belhus soon found themselves in all sorts of trouble, with Ali and Spud giving little away. Light relief was provided by Nita, who had obviously been working closely with Harmison on his newly modified action. A few lusty blows from the tail took the score to 115 before finally being curtailed by the return of Taylor, who finished up with 4-21.
It should never have been enough, but following a quick-fire 16 from Jagdesh, in typical Crusaders style we proceeded to make hard work of it. Wajih was on the wrong end of a poor looking lbw and Gordy fished around for an unconvincing 7. Johnny G looked compact, playing particularly fluently through the gully area for 14 and Damon, in front of the missus, must have made her wonder why he is so enthusiastic about the game. Some semblance of order was restored by Mike 20* and Nita 26*, who batted with a modicom of common sense, putting on an unbroken 54 which carried us home with nearly ten overs to spare. It's always nice when you can leave your shoelaces in your shoes.
How the oppo saw it
Belhus Sunday 2nd X1 115 all out
Crusaders 116 for 5
On an unpredictable wicket at North Stifford, Belhus were bowled out for only 115 in this low scoring match. Only Matt Clarke with 14, youth member Rob Pantelli with 16, Michael Campbell-jones 16 and Paul Whitlock 29 not out, reached double figures.With a total that looked about 30-40 runs too few, Belhus began the quest for wickets with gusto, having Crusaders 31 for 3, then 62 for 5, before they stabilised and eased to a win with with 9 overs remaining. Rob Long 2 for 18 and Whitlock 2 for 26 were the pick of the bowlers with Jim robertson 1 for 11 also weighing in. A good friendly game played in the right spirit!
13th May -v- West Peckham
Almost 100 years ago Captain Scott and his antarctic expedition perished on the polar icecaps, having been beaten to the South Pole by the Norweigans. On Sunday a car full of Crusaders met a similar fate on the North Circular. Gridlocked by the inclement weather, Captain Wajih failed dismally to complete a small journey to West Peckham. Meanwhile the exuberant Norse car led by Dave claimed the Swan on the Green as their own, joyfully supping pints of 'Trumpeter' in celebration. With the weather closing in and no prospect of play they attempted the return journey. Conditions made navigation a nightmare and after several hours of meaningless travel, supplies were getting low. Somewhere deep on the Chistle Glacier, Commander Danglers Oates made the ultimate sacrifice muttering these immortal words. 'I am getting out now and I maybe some time'. That was the last that was seen of this brave explorer, until sometime after eleven o'clock when he was finally forced from the Ramblers Rest.
29th April-v- Addington 1743
Crusaders began the new season with a first ever fixture at Addington. Although nicely situated, the pitch was green and the outfield littered with mouldering cut grass. It did however offer fine views of Addington Council Estate where I was reliably informed the girls were dirtier than Christina Aguillera.
Wajih, in time honoured fashion, lost the toss and not surprisingly we were asked to bat. Rather more surprising was the chalk and cheese opening pairing of Schultz and Taylor. Gord, a former Addington player in the late 1940's, reminded them just what they were missing, despatching the first two balls of the day to the boundary and then exposing his leg stump to bowled by the third. If Gord was the excitement, Skinny supplied the drudgery - he stuck around for 26 overs for a mind numbingly dull 16. Unfortunately we had no one capable of batting around him and limped along at only three runs an over. Even Nita's new tibetan monk hairstyle failed to raise the spirits. Finally Pommie and Jabs Vaas(on debut) went on the offensive. Through some clean hitting and intelligent rotation of the strike the pair added 54 in only eight overs, with Pom hitting three maximums in his top-scoring 40 and Chaminda chipping in with a useful 19. Danglers and DDDDamon helped the score along to 157 at the end of our forty overs.
It was important that we got wickets early and prevented easy runs being taken. Moysey provided the breakthrough in the first over, but that was as good as it got. We chipped away manfully at our hosts, but never gained a firm foothold in the game. All of their batsmen looked capable, whilst in the field we looked like it was our first match. Two wickets for Jabs completed an impressive debut, but he now leaves us until June, to study for his GCSE's. It was testament to our efforts that we put off the inevitable until the 36th over, with Addington taking the spoils by five wickets.
06th May -v- Charlatans
Vultures circled overhead, the papparazi gathered. A queue of Pressmen, longer than that for a Sainsbury's Eco friendly bag, hovered to record events. Nevermind Man Utd winning the Premiership, those present at Greenwich Park wanted the answer to just one question. Would Wajih last the weekend ? As the clock ticked towards two o'clock the answer appeared to be No. In time honoured Crusaders tradition, had the skipper fallen on his sword ?
Muscles Taylor took charge, cooly lost the toss and we found ourselves in the field. One thing you can always be sure of at Greenwich Park is a competitive pitch. Today was no disappointment. Strategically positioned weeds and a surface that offered as variable a bounce as you could wish for, guaranteed that bowlers would rule the roost as long as they put the ball in the right areas. Danglers shuffled in, looking about as nimble as my old mum and spent the first two overs putting the ball in anywhere but the right places. Mike however was metrognomically accurate, removing both openers. Wajih finally broke through the ranks of the press to take charge. Darren, having loosened up, released a barrage of dangerous deliveries, hitting their number three on several occasions, without ever coming remotely close to hitting the stumps. Mike took a third wicket, but Charlatans gradually gained a foothold in the match, with resolute defence, mixed with some good and some streaky shots. Spud made the breakthrough removing the dangerous Dipak for 26 and went on to return 5 for 12 from his eight overs. Mike returned to mop up the tail, removing the last two batsmen, helping himself to a five wicket haul in the process. Charlatans innings closed at 121 with six unused overs.
Hats off to the cake-making wives of the Charlatans. A tea that included two marvellous sponges was eagerly consumed.
Having endured a jaw-droppingly dull Taylor at the top of the innings last week, Wajih ensured that tedium would prevail by offering Danglers the openers berth. Nita smote a quick 9, Moysey nibbled a sombre 5 and Johnny Grrr looked majestic in compiling 8. Pommie continued where he left off last week, mixing some wristy flicks with some expansive drives in a fluent 28. But it was the skipper who took the batting plaudits. Surviving a nervy opening, Wajih soon started to exploit the open spaces, piercing the field with some well placed drives of front and back foot. Manjit looked to finish the match in style, with some scything swings, but connected only with thin air. All of a sudden 71 for 3 became 78 for 5 and the press sharpened their pencils expectantly. Wajih had other ideas. Ably supported by Gordy he took us to within touching distance before falling to a shooter, six short of fifty. Damon provided the shot of the day with an exquisite straight drive and the game was finished with four leg-side byes.
Wajih was given a vote of confidence and the more discerning amongst us drank the fine ales of Shepherd Neame. Damon and Skinny took coloured, fizzy,chemically processed liquid.