2010 Season

Match 15

Harlow Town at Elizabeth Way 25 July

For the second week running Crusaders fielded only ten players, for what was our first ever visit to Harlow Town. Spud, Big Ead and Danglers enjoyed a pre-match pint in Old Harlow and were consequently disappointed on arrival at Harlow's ground. Sited by the side of a dual-carriageway it was a far cry from where we had spent lunch-time.

Our hosts won the toss and elected to bat, but were put on the back foot by fine opening spells from Pommie and Darren. After Pommie had removed both openers, Harlow gradually established a foothold in the game. With Seecharan batting aggressively and Coleman happy to support the third wicket added 80 runs. Seecharan was happy to hit the ball in the air over the in field, with Crusaders leaving it a little too late before dropping the field. Upkar eventually broke the partnership, as Seecharan holed out to Spud at long-on for 60. Wickets then fell at regular intervals, as Harlow's remaining batsmen attempted to raise the scoring rate. Pommie completed a five wicket haul and he was well supported by Upkar who finished with 3-27. Harlow Town were finally bowled out with an over unused, leaving Crusaders requiring 160 for victory.

Mo and Jagdesh gave us the perfect start, with 49 raised for the first wicket inside ten overs, but a misunderstanding resulted in Jagdesh (24) being run out and Gordon and Mo followed quickly after. From a position of some authority we plummetted to defeat in some style. Harlow dropped the field back, dangling just enough of a carrot to our batsmen, who could'nt resist trying to hit over the top rather than push the ball into the gaps. After Chand and Jabs had both succumbed to an aerial departure, it was left to Darren and Spud to try and salvage the game. Even these two doyens of the club were unable to right the ship and despite a last wicket stand of 32 we fell 16 runs short.

Match 14

Theydon Bois at Loughton Lane 18 July

With several players unavailable Crusaders bolstered their numbers to ten with Island Gardens CC players Mo Rahman and Shiplu Chodhury, with eleventh player Moysey awaiting the result of the toss on his toilet. Wajih was absent, so Pommie again deputised as skipper. The toss was won and we elected to bat. In a recurring theme of late, Pommie opted to pair a 'sensible whitey' with a 'rash asian' in an attempt to solidify the top order. This week it was Spud and  Nita.

The innings got off to a promising start, with Nita striking the ball confidently and Spud putting away the bad ball. Fifty was posted inside 8 overs, amidst a fair bit of Theydon Bois polite sledging. Nita fell soon after, top-edging a pull shot to cover for an entertaining 27.  One 'rash asian' was replaced by perhaps the most rash of all, in the form of Jagdesh. The 'wise preacher' ignored the words of wisdom profferred by Spud and with a twinkle in his eye, launched into some trade mark shots. Theydon Bois continued to sledge, with constant reminders to Jagdesh that if he didn't hit a boundary every ball his strike rate would plummet. Jagdesh remained un-moved. Spud was next to go adjudged lbw for 40, which brought debutant Mo to the wicket. It was apparent he was a sound batsmen, combining solid defence with some classy shots. Strangely he didn't feel the need to hit the ball in the air every shot, which raised the question of whether he really is of Asian descent. Jagdesh fell five runs short of fifty, well caught at long on and was replaced by Teji. Theydon Bois took the pace off the ball to good effect and the run rate started to drop, but with wickets in hand we were well set for a good total. When Teji was run out for a promising 15 and Mo followed soon after for a well made 40, the wheels rather fell off. The tail failed to wag, with too much 'play and miss' and only Chand making a worthwhile contribution. With Moysey still taking quality time on the porcelain our innings closed on 224 with 8 balls unused.

Despite a fine opening spell from the skip, Theydon Bois got off to a good start, with Beretta quick to punish anything loose. Teji had problems maintaining line and length early on and with a quick outfield suffered the consequences. The breakthrough came through a direct hit from Shiplu that found Del Almeida still short of his ground and this was soon followed by the wicket of Colier, snaffled by Spud at slip off the bowling of Chowdhury. This brought TB captain Bullivant to the crease for what was to be the pivotal point in the match. If we could remove him quickly we stood some chance of victory. Alas, despite a great spell from Shiplu (4-39), who was extracting pace and bounce and a fine second spell from Pommie, it was not to be. Chand and Spud bowled with good control to keep the game alive, slowing the scoring rate to leave Theydon Bois needing 40 from the final 5 overs. Theydon must have been hoping that our eleventh man was Mr Taylor, but they need not have worried as Chand made a worthy deputy. Spud finally removed Bullivant, with Chand taking an excellent catch on the deep square leg boundary, but Penman bludgeoned Chand with the 'Mongoose' and defeat was ensured with five balls to spare, when another ball disappeared into the gardens.

 

Match 13

Downe at Luxted Road 11 July

A brisk, entertaining 90 from Nita and a rather more sombre, sedate 64 from Danglers set up an imposing 198 target for Downe from 35 overs. With Wajih and Pommie unavailable, Mike took the reins and negotiated a reduced format to enable the World Cup Final to be viewed in full. After a lengthy chat with Mr Hobbs on the pitch, during which Mike displayed some fairly negative body language, we were surprised to learn we had won the toss and were batting. It seems whilst the majority of us thought Graham was laying down some ground rules about a gagging order on Chand, he was in fact merely giving Mike a Local History lesson.

We lost Jagdesh in only the second over, but recovered through a stand of 144 between Nita and Darren. After some initial play and miss, mingled with a few mis-timed shots, Nita began to find his form, peppering the boundary with some powerful shots. Moysey was the perfect foil, choosing to nudge and nurdle his way to a turgid fifty. Downe toiled away gamely in the heat, but it was proving to be a good toss to win. Nita fell ten runs short of a maiden century, when Parfett Jnr found enough turn to bowl him behind his pads, but Darren and The Claw (14*) added another 37 runs to the score, before Moysey was athletically caught and bowled by Parfett. Snr. At the close of 35 overs we had reached 198-3.

Jabs and Mr Taylor made life difficult for the Downe openers, offering little opportunity to get a good start, with Mike removing John Denton and Matt Warne in a fine opening spell. Downe never really recovered from such a slow start and although Trevatt (73*) batted effortlessly they never got up with the required scoring rate. Spud bowled a miserly spell in mid-innings picking up 3-13 from 8 overs and only blotted his copybook when he dropped Trevatt off the bowling of Upkar. Upkar had some initial problems with line and length, but always threatened to take wickets and after some punishment from Parfett Snr he was rewarded with two. Some desperate late hitting and the introduction of Sumo Morrison into the attack gave the Downe total an air of respectability and they closed 29 runs short on 169-7.

We retired to The Queens Head for refreshment and the World Cup Final between Spain and The Netherlands, where it was agreed that any surplus money at the end of the season would go towards a guide dog for Moysey.

Match 12

Sutton at Holmwood Close 4 July

On a steamy, sultry day at Sutton, it would have been nice to have won the toss and batted, but Wajih chose to be first at the ground for once and inevitably lost the coin-flip. For some reason 'the Woolwich contingent' was fragmented into three cars, with Mike and 'wife to be' taking a peaceful drive, leaving Johnny G to bring Singhs 1 & 2. For reasons best left unexplored Gordon decided to drive himself - at his age surely he should have a carer with him. At start time, rather than taking to the field, he was tootling along the A3 mellowing out to some jazz fusion nonsense. With Pommie still on the road as well, we started one short, with a reluctant sub fielder taking us to ten men.

Moysey managed to land his fourth ball on the pitch, but by that time Liddiard had helped himself to a tidy dozen runs. With the outfield barren and Mr Taylor offered the new ball it was shaping up to be a long afternoon in the sun. Eight overs in and Sutton had raised the 50 - even Johnny G was circling his arms in readiness for a bowl. Mike finally got the breakthrough, removing Liddiard for 31, caught by Spud at fairly silly point.

Sutton continued to score at a furious rate, obviously assuming that if Mike was our premier bowler, what was to follow could not be too threatening. Our second string was faring little better, with Abram and Moore finding the boundary all too easily. Jabs finally removed Abram and there looked as if there might be some light at the end of the tunnel. The turning point came when Pommie removed the dangerous Moore with one that kept a little low - his celebration proved that you can't completely remove 'the indian' from this englishman. He followed it with two further wickets in the same over and suddenly Sutton found themselves 118-5.

The remainder of the Sutton innings was far less frenetic, with Barry (55) trying to coax the tail to utilise the full forty overs. Upkar and Spud took the pace off the ball, with Upkar bowling another impressive spell, this time getting wickets as well as keeping the runs down. Sutton closed on 182-9 - a score that after three balls we would probably settled for, but in fact should have been less but for some shoddy fielding.

Sutton served up another fine tea - looks like another set back for Damon's diet.

The run chase faltered under some accurate bowling from Foster, who removed Rehman, Singh.N and the obdurate Mr Taylor, with only 23 runs on the board. Pommie and The Claw steadied the ship, with John happy to protect his wicket with any part of his body, while The Englishman used his bat to score some much needed runs. Useful partnerships with Gord (18), Jabs (11) and Damon (20) meant that we were always in touch with the required rate, but our frailty chasing a target was exposed, with wickets tumbling at the wrong time. Pommie was eventually caught - having offered numerous chances - for a fine 72. It seems, like Chand he lacks the patience to see a game to a winning conclusion!!

Damon was triggered by Johnny G, adjudged caught behind and the tail was unable to penetrate the ring field, with Crusaders finishing just 7 runs short.

 

Match 11

Farningham at Horton Way 20 June

Crusaders maintained recent winning ways with a comfortable 39 runs victory at Farningham. Upkar, MrTaylor and Danglers were restored to the eleven, replacing Wajih, Imtiaz and Timmo, with Pommie and Mike forming some sort of joint skippership. Pre-match refreshment was taken at The Bull, Horton Kirby with some superb Marble 57 and Jaipur on offer. Spud and Darren had clearly got the taste and were relieved when Pommie called correctly, thus enabling the hydration process to be extended in The Chequers.

In their absence, Channa and The Singhs all got going and then got out, but Farningham struggled to stem the flow of runs as Crusaders pushed towards a decent total. Damon came in after sound foundations had been laid and decided to lay some more foundations, rather than accelerate the run rate. At last count his steadily accumulated 24 not out used up about 130 deliveries - but as long as he is happy!! Fortunately Jabs and Upkar were a little more fluid in their strokeplay and we closed on 198-7 from our allotted 40 overs.

Nita and Jagdesh get the innings under way

Mike and Darren exerted a stranglehold on the Farningham scoring rate from which they never really recovered, bowling their 8 over spells straight through. Danglers was unlucky with two edges that did'nt go to hand, the first ballooning over 2nd slip and the second only prevented from going to the boundary by some agile fielding from Spud. Mike got the initial breakthrough, as Wood quite rightly tried to smash him out of the ground, but unfortunately for him failed to make contact. Spud and Upkar were brought into the attack and almost immediately Spud removed Freedman as he attempted to up the tempo, his skied sweep taken by Pommie at mid-on. This exposed some Farningham juniors and Spud took 'no pleasure' in returning them to the creche.

Only when the game had ceased as a contest did the opener Hutchins come out of his shell, hitting both Jabs and Upkar for maximums in a not out score of 89. With 48 runs coming from the final six overs Farningham finished only 39 runs adrift, but the gulf between the two sides was more evident than the final scores suggest.

Watch out Jabs, he's after your mushroom

We retired to The Chequers for debrief, but there remain some unanswered questions.

1. What (if any) fabric conditioner does Hazel use on Johnny Grrs towels?

2. Is it acceptable for Chand to continually rub Moysey's buttocks prior to showering?

3. At 45 years of age can Johnny Grr really carry off the cardigan look?

Sartorial elegance or mid-life crisis?

4. Should Damon be blatantly looking at other player's appendages in the shower?

 

Match 10

Meantime Brewery at Greenwich Park 16 June

A tremendous bowling performance from Crusaders put them firmly in control and despite the top six batsmen failing to fire, we still had enough in reserve to maintain our unbeaten record against the brewery.

Asked to bowl first Jabs and Mr Taylor maintained an excellent line and length, which eventually induced some desperate shots. Jabs took a wicket with his first ball and completed 3 overs for only 10 runs, while Mike returned 1-8 from his 3 over spell, which should have been 3-8, but for fielding misdemeanours from Ali and Greggains. Dhiraj Shamoo was the pick of the bowlers, beating the bat with swing and seam and taking two wickets in the process, the first courtesy of a fine diving catch from Spud at slip. The opener Roger finally got to 25, having been frustrated by some subtle changes in pace by Imtiaz, but his innings, though slow was vital in allowing Meantime some sort of total to defend. Debutant Parvinder Singh (fast running out space for Singhs on the database) looked a good prospect with the ball and he and Jagdesh completed our spell in the field. Atkinson was 'smartly' stumped by Damon, who really is starting to make wicket-keeping look ridiculously easy - or maybe just ridiculous and the Meantime Brewery innings closed on 95.

What should have been a comfortable stroll to victory, was made a little more difficult by some indifferent batting and some decent bowling from Head-brewer/Persistent moaner A. Hook. When Mike was sixth out, we had reached only 29 in the 8th over. Dhiraj fell to a rather fortunate stumping, Chand missed a full-toss, Kev and Damon were cleaned up and Jagdesh got trapped in front. 

Johnny G (always the man for a crisis) chinese cut and edged his way into the opposition's hearts and after some energetic play and miss, Parvinder started to mete out some punishment on the Meantime back-up bowlers. Together they put on 50, before Parvinder reached retirement at 27*. Spud and John then comfortably finished the job with 2 overs to spare.

Match 9

Warlingham at Church Road 13 June

Situated just up the road from Woldingham, this was the first time Crusaders had played at Warlingham, a side putting out three Saturday sides in the Surrey Championship. The signs were immediately good, as Spud sighted three handpumps in the Warlingham Bar - and the ground was ok as well.

A glorious pint of Harvey's

For a second week running Wajih was forced to make selection decisions, not least whether he and  Pommie deserved to return to the starting eleven. Out went Aftab, Gord, Upkar, Mike and Moysey, replaced by Waj, Pom, The Claw, Nita and Timmo.

Overnight rain had left the pitch with a bit of life in it and Spud - deputising for the late arriving Wajih - had little hesitation giving our hosts first knock. Wajih arrived in time to lead the team out and Spud's decision to field soon appeared vindicated. Pommie took the new ball and produced a peach in the first over, removing Kelly with a ball that nipped back to clip off-stump. With Jabs getting some appreciable swing and Pommie seaming it both ways, Warlingham struggled to put runs on the board nor keep wickets intact. Pommie took a further two wickets, the last the pick of the bunch. Having been square driven to the boundary by Aleem, he followed up with a delivery that pitched around middle and leg and ended up clipping the bail of off-stump. The spectator who had suggested that Aleem would still be out in the middle at Tea, was seen quietly going to put the kettle on. Having seen a couple of chances spurned, Jabs finally got the reward his bowling deserved, removing the stubborn Mirza. 

With Warlingham reeling, Wajih was able to rotate his bowlers and the remaining wickets were evenly spread amongst, Timms, Ali, Singhs J & S and Whale. Warlingham's minor recovery was initiated by an unbeaten 33 from Lunt, but he ran out of partners as Crusaders wrapped up the tail.  Spud took his 700th wicket for the club, removing octogenerian Sid Horrocks, as Warlingham finished 106 all out.

During Tea rumours circulated that Warlingham had a pretty tidy opening attack, with Mirza fresh from an eight wicket haul in the league on saturday and the skipper an ex first team opening bowler. The same spectator who had earlier commented on Aleem's batting prowess was now audibly suggesting that we would rue feeding them some runs.

Crusaders XI versus Warlingham

 Back Row    D. East (umpire) J. Singh, S.Whale, W.Rehman (capt), N.Singh, I.Ali, C.Channa.

Front Row     G.Timms, J.Greggains, P.Singh, D.White (wkt) J.Sarwar

Within six overs we had been reduced to 16-4, with Wajih trapped in front, followed by Quack Quack Channa, Quack Quack Johnny GRRR and Quack Quack Jagdesh - perhaps that spectator would have the last laugh. Nita and GT steadied the ship and started to blunt the opening attack, with Mirza visibly slowing and Slade giving away too many four balls. Nita was the last of Mirza's victims, when he drove over a yorker, but Glenn was in imperious form, driving gloriously through the off-side. Pommie acted as the perfect foil, defending stoutly, before he too began to find his form. With Mirza out of the attack, Warlingham lacked a bowler to trouble Timms and Singh and the target was comfortably overhauled in the 23rd over.

 

Glenn Timms and Pommie Singh after guiding Crusaders to a 5 wicket win at Warlingham

Match 8

Cudham Wyse at Cudham Rec 06 June

A glut of players available for the trip to Cudham, enabled the skip to take a blow, along with the 'under-achieving englishman' and Nita. Mike returned from Dubai in time to take control of team affairs and we were undoubtedly strengthened by the return of 'superstar Sarwar' and first appearances of the season from Imtiaz and Aftab. Amazingly we had a full eleven assembled and almost raring to go some thirty minutes before the scheduled start time. Spud and Darren waited anxiously in the Blacksmith's Arms for news of the toss and despite some pleas from the oppo skip that, 'they were weak and it would be better for the game if we batted first, ruthless Mike taking a leaf out of the Chris Wilsdon book of captaincy, ignored all protocol and put our hosts into bat.

It was soon apparent that the Cudham Wyse skipper had not been trying to pull the wool over our eyes. Danglers continued his impressive start to the season and was relishing a fairly juicy pitch that carried a bit of pace, as well as some bounce. Of more concern was that the batsmen  struggled against Mike. To be fair, either his pace must be deceptive to the naked eye, or Damon's recent weight loss has rendered him a little unstable, as a thin edge from the opener took him clean off his feet. The ball did'nt stick in the gloves quite as well as assorted sponge cakes stuck to his plate at tea time.

After ten overs Cudham had barely reached double figures, with both openers returned to the hutch by Moyse yorkers. Mike wisely rang the bowling changes after further wickets fell to himself, Spud and Imtiaz, who was apparently using thermals to aid his swing bowling. Despite bowling just about everyone at his disposal, the damage had been done and only some lusty blows from Sinnema (26) pushed the score up to 81. Eight of the ten bowlers used took wickets, with Damon pick of the bunch taking 1-02 from his three accurate overs.

Tea was top drawer, with a couple of home-made sponges complimenting the large spread of sandwiches.

Despite losing Jabs and Jagdesh early on, the result was never really in doubt. Cudham lacked the penetration that Moysey had found early on and served up too many four balls, enabling Chand (31) to take us close to the finish line, before Gordy and opener Upkar (24*) took us across the finish line. A ten over beer match was briefly pondered, before common-sense found us quickly in the garden of the Blacksmith's.

After Mike had left we apologised to the opposition and said we would ensure that the normal nice skipper Wajih would be in charge next time. Hopefully - no thanks to that nasty bastard Taylor - we may have salvaged a return next year.

Match 7

Bromley Town and OB's at Hayes Lane 30 May

Crusaders avenged last year's 'lbwgate' defeat, with a comprehensive victory at Hayes Lane. Damon and Gord were restored to the starting eleven, replacing Jabs and Sumo. Wajih was stuck on a different road this week, so Pommie took control and was offered first knock.

The Singhs N and J strolled to the crease and immediately launched into a game of 'I bet I can hit it higher than you'. This theme was continued throughout the Crusaders innings - I understand it is a game particularly popular on the sub-continent. Bromley Town were happy to extend the life of the game by spilling numerous chances, with one fielder guilty of at least four drops.

Crusaders 'prepare' for tea

Our total of 198 was due largely to a fine 50 from Gord 'nine lives' Schultz and some lower order hitting from Chand. Pommie, Wajih and Damon all chipped in with useful runs, but we failed to utilise the full 40 overs, with Danglers last wicket to fall.

Gord has to check the scorecard to confirm his 9th fifty for Crusaders

Darren and Pommie effectively put the game beyond Bromley in the first 12 overs, with some accurate bowling. Pommie made the initial breakthrough, bowling Graham off his pads and then added the wicket of Bajaria, with a slower ball that was mis-cued to Wajih at cover. Bromley looked heavily reliant on the opener Scorer if they were to make any headway and he had looked reasonably comfortable against Moyse and Singh. The introduction of Upkar changed all that, as the first ball of his spell completely deceived him in the flight, to put Bromley firmly under the cosh. Upkar added a further two wickets, finally getting some reward for consistently bowling well. The match as a contest was effectively over, giving Wajih the opportunity to rotate his bowlers. Spud deputised behind the stumps, giving Damon the chance to impress with both the ball and in the field. Spud produced a masterful display of 'glovemanship' with a lightning fast stumping and some tidy work. Damon showed the rest of the team how to return the ball to the wicket-keeper, fizzing the ball into the gloves - not.

Damon and Jagdesh each took wickets, but the Bromley Town tail ensured the full forty overs were used, with Cowley, Levey and Smart contributing useful runs. Bromley closed on 125-8, still some 73 runs shy of the target. 

 

Match 6

Hayes at Barnet Wood Road 23 May

Summer had finally arrived and with it the first team selection head-aches for the skipper. With 13 available, Damon and Gordy kindly made way, allowing Sumo to take charge of the gloves - hopefully he would'nt mind the occasional mis-placed throw. Wajih was still tootling along the A232 as two o'clock approached so Spud called correctly, ordered another pint of Spitfire and settled back to be entertained.

Jagdesh looks pleased following his maiden fifty for the club

Only Johnny G broke up a Singh dominated top order, with Nita and Jagdesh opening, supported by Pommie and Upkar. The pitch was firm and the outfield fast, giving the prospect of a feast of runs. Nita fell early, mis-timing a pull shot and returning it to the bowler, but this brought the form player Pommie to the crease. Pommie was happy to play second fiddle to the dashing Jagdesh, who finally reached a maiden fifty for the club, with an innings of 51 that contained two maximums. Pommie reached his own fifty in more sedate fashion, as our innings failed to accelerate. Scoring was even paced, with the Hayes change bowlers making run scoring more difficult and it was left to some late hitting from Jabs to take our 40 over score to 199-7.

The opening bowlers, Moyse and Sarwar, presented all sorts of problems to the Hayes top order. Danglers bowled at good pace, making the early breakthrough when he trapped Nash in front and then followed it up when Snowobn showed too much of his leg stump. Jabs joined the party with two wickets of his own and all of a sudden Hayes were teetering at 17-4. Pommie replaced Darren and gave Hayes little repite as he sent down five accurate overs that yielded a wicket and only 7 runs.

Hayes never really recovered and only a fine fifty from Johnson saved them from a heavier defeat.

The victorious Crusaders team after victory by 39 runs at Hayes.

Back row L to R Channa, Singh U, Whale, White, Sarwar, Moyse, Rehman (capt)

Front Singh.P, Singh.J, Greggains, Singh.N, Morrison (wkt) 

 

Match 5

North Weald at North Weald 16th May

On a pitch that produced inconsistent pace and bounce, Crusaders produced their best batting display of the season, but were denied a probable victory by the weather.

Asked to bat on an early season 'green-topper' Crusaders survived the early loss of Danglers -allegedly to one that kept low. Pommie joined skipper Wajih and together they patiently built the foundations for a 200+ score. Wajih departed for exactly 50 and Pommie fell shortly after run out for 49. Quite how anybody else can be run out when the incident involves The Claw I will never know. The rest of the afternoon's batting belonged to Chand, with Damon playing a supporting role. Chand opted to take the vagaries of the pitch out of the equation by getting to the pitch of the ball whenever possible, crashing twelve fours in an entertaining ten over knock. The tail dispersed spectacularly, leaving North Weald a victory target of 206.

The weather allowed only two overs to be completed of the reply, during which time Chand executed a run out, while Damon was throwing his toys around and having a high-pitched hissy-fit.

Match 4

Newham Dogs at East Ham 14th May (20/20)

The Dogs extracted revenge for last year's defeat, snatching victory with a ball to spare in a thrilling 16 over thrash.

Crusaders fielded a 'local' eleven, with only Whale braving the Blackwall Tunnel and Barking Road to arrive from the South. Anand and Jabs both batted well to reach retirement at 25, but in general we wasted too many opportunities to score easy runs, opting for big shots rather than attempting to score from every delivery. Similar to last year Newham fielded well and took their catches with a measure of confidence, that is sadly lacking in the Crusaders.

Despite taking early wickets through Chand, Crusaders never really got hold of the game and Newham were indebted to some big-hitting from Jaco in the middle order to guide them home

 

Match 3

West Peckham at West Peckham Village Green 9th May

Crusaders returned to winning ways with a resounding victory at West Peckham. The Canning Town Tractor delivered Danglers, Spud and Dave to the wonderful confines of The Swan on the Green at just after midday for some vital acclimatisation. Over a couple of medicinal beverages we were able to watch some last minute pitch preparation, with Moyse and Whale already pencilled in at numbers 10 and 11. Overnight rain had left the pitch green and spongy, offering encouragement to any bowler who could put it there or thereabouts. Gradually the remainder of the eleven materialised, with Nita and Gordy replacing the injured duo of Channa(knee) and Foy(chipped nail-varnish). Even Wajih managed to arrive in time for the toss, the result of which from my vantage point in the tavern was unclear.

 

 

 

Spud and Darren view proceedings from the perfect vantage point 

On the strength of last week's top score, The G Man found himself opening with the skip. He probably wished he had refused the offer, being bowled in the 3rd over having failed to trouble the scorers. Whale and Moyse had taken up the perfect scoring position within The Swan, with the pitch only slightly obscured by the large tree. The umpires eventually got the hang of signalling events to the pub. The only batsmen to emerge with any credit were Pommie who played a patient innings of 33 and a swashbuckling Jabs, who finished top scorer with 45. Together they forged the only partnership of the day, putting on 54 for the 5th wicket. Their departure signalled a lower order collapse with the last five wickets yielding only 3 runs. West Peckham appeared to be well in the ascendancy, requiring only 101 to win, but with the pitch - unlike at Norwood - showing little signs of improving as the day wore on Crusaders knew they had the bowling attack to make the run-chase uncomfortable.

 

 

Jabs and Pommie top scorers at West Peckham 

 

Danglers and Mr Taylor soon turned the screws, with runs scored at a high premium and wickets tumbling all too regularly for West Peckham. Darren was exacting what pace there was from the wicket, while Mike relied on some subtle changes in pace and flight to unsettle the oppo batsmen. With West Peckham reduced to 12-3 and there best bats safely back in the hutch, it became just a matter of patience, before the victory was wrapped up. Spud - with another indifferent spell - whittled out the middle order, leaving Jabs and Upkar to complete the win.

Match 2

Norwood at Norwood Lakes 25th April

  

Crusaders travelled to Norwood Lakes with what appeared, on paper at least, to be a strong starting eleven. They returned empty handed after failing to adapt to the conditions, as Norwood ran out comfortable winners. The skipper was one of four changes to last week's side, with Jabs, Mike and Johnny Grrr replacing 2 Singhs and a Shamoo.

Wajih was delayed in traffic (no new season's resolution then) so Pommie called incorrectly in his absence and we found ourselves inserted on a grassy strip. A little overnight rain had juiced up the pitch and the outfield would have benefitted from a few less inches of grass.

Pommie pulled the first delivery of the day to the boundary, but that confident start was not to be followed up. The very next delivery was flashed at and edged to the keeper. Wajih arrived just in time to see the departing Singh. Norwood generally put the ball in the right areas and the game became a war of attrition, with Mike settling into a very dull net session and Chand becoming increasingly frustrated at not being able to get the ball away. Chand eventually danced down the track, missed by a country mile and was stumped, bringing The Claw to the crease. With Mike he painstakingly built a recovery and the score meandered into the fifties. Mike's occupancy came to an end in the 22^nd over - a relief to anyone who has a genuine love of the game. Brief cameos from Jabs and Wajih threatened to generate a good finish to the innings, but both departed to mistimed drives when looking set. Johnny G top scored with 18 (extras apart) and played some characteristic punchy drives and the innings came to a close on 115.

If ever a Galilean miracle were needed to feed the Cricketers 22 it was at Norwood. Certainly for everyone to get some donut Jesus would have had to be on top form.

It was vital that we made early in roads if we harboured any hopes of an improbable victory, and Moysey gave us the perfect start nipping one back to remove Greaves in the first over. Unfortunately for Crusaders the pitch improved as the day wore on, with none of the inconsistent pace and bounce that had caused so many problems during our innings. Norwood batted positively and was happy to throw the bat at anything loose. With no further breakthroughs Wajih turned to Spud, who immediately removed both of the free-scoring Norwood batsmen. Spud would like to claim they were the result of a new mystery delivery that he has been working on - the long hop doosra. The only real mystery is why each delivery did not head for the boundary. A couple more wickets and the result could have been so different, but several opportunities for run outs were spurned, with wild throws, which led to some high pitched squeals from our portly keeper. Upkar, Pommie and Jabs all had unsuccessful spells with the ball as Niraj and Shah carried Norwood comfortably to target.

Match 1

Woldingham Village at Woldingham 18th April

Crusaders embarked on a new season with a visit to the picturesque village of Woldingham. With the skipper 'missing in action' somewhere in Iran, responsibilities for team selection were entrusted to Pommie. Despite often having almost a full eleven at pre-season nets we seemed to struggle to raise a full side for the opening fixture. In the end Chand produced Ravi to take us to ten and we had the Icelandic Volcano to thank for eventually reaching eleven, as Jagdesh joined us mid-match following the cancellation of his flight to India.

With Wajih still missing, newly-expectant Daddy Pom was co-erced as captain. Woldingham won the toss and elected to bat. The wicket looked a bit patchy, but played remarkably well, with only the odd ball keeping low.

Moysey had failed to attend any nets this year, preferring the early morning attentions of Fiona, rather than turning his arm over, but he was still thrown the new ball. After a fairly 'stiff' couple of deliveries he was soon in his stride. Woldingham were soon ruing their decision to bat, as Pommie - off a short run-up - took two quick wickets. Spud took over from Pommie and immediately opened his account for the season and Darren got the wicket his spell deserved, removing the opening bat. At 16-4 Woldingham were teetering on the brink. Dhileepan and Tozer restored some order, with Tozer playing aggressively, whilst his skipper was content to lay anchor. Spud finally removed Tozer, not before he had been despatched to the leg-side boundary several times, bowled for 33.

Ravi and Upkar had spells from the top end and were unfortunate not to take any wickets. Ravi was a little erratic, but produced a few pearlers and Upkar beat the bat constantly without reward. The Woldingham tail was mopped up by Chand, much to the dismay of Danglers. Obviously fearing interference from Volcanic Ash Particles, Chand chose to keep his flight trajectory very low, with an action not dissimilar to a native throwing a spear. Woldingham closed on 116 all out, with Chand returning figures of 4-20.

The ladies of Woldingham produced a sumptuous spread which was tucked into heartily. I mistakenly thought Damon was helping to set up the tea, as he passed me with a plate groaning with cake and sandwiches, until I realised it was for his personal consumption - no wonder we had to employ Craig Gordon as back-stop to Flabbianski.

Jagdesh set about the Woldingham attack as only he can, bludgeoning some fine boundaries as we looked to make light work of the low target, while Don was content to play the supporting role. Jagdesh was first to go, playing over the top of a full delivery and he was followed by a disgruntled Don, run out by a static Nita.

Kev had been a picture of serenity, padded-up lounging in a chair, browsing some extreme right-wing election propaganda - The Daily Mail - but all of a sudden, he was back in his chair looking slightly perplexed. A quick swish at a straight one and that was that.

Chand and Nita pushed the score along at a good rate and as we arrived at 20 overs, Chand had been the only additional casualty. At 88-4, requiring only another 28 runs, victory appeared a formality. The fact that it took 13 further overs to get the runs and made several of the watching crowd lose the will to live cannot be ignored. Damon (23*) and Pommie eventually guided us home, much to Kev's relief.